You and I were Never Meant for Each Other

Versi Bahasa Indonesianya di sini.

Content warnings: mention and effect of drugs

The resort was already quiet as the party was over almost two hours ago. Most people already returned to their designated room while Lucius and Fabian were both out since they were waiting on the most important person of the day to arrive; Gregory. It had been a little over seven minutes when Gregory approached them. He was draped in a black hoodie and a brown of shorts. He looked a little out of place with hair disheveled, smeared make up, and nervous expression.

Lucius could instantly feel how Fabian tensed once the both of them spotted Gregory from afar. It was one of those nights that Lucius never felt like attending but he was never one to reject Fabian’s offer. He was like a very loyal lapdog who did everything the owner said and every now and then it would hurt him a little when he felt that way. Yet, Fabian was like a drug to him. Despite knowing the danger it possessed, there was no way he would stop the addiction. He was like bird trapped in a cage; always free to roam, but never free to go beyond.

“Have you waited for long?” Gregory asked once he stood in front of them.

Fabian shook his head. His fingers sneakily tried to find their way in between Lucius’, trying to intertwine their fingers as he needed a consolation which Lucius happily obliged.

“Since I cannot leave my wife for long, I will just cut to the chase,” Gregory announced. His gaze was piercing right through Fabian’s and somehow it made the latter shiver by how menacing it was.

“Fabian, you know I loved you. I loved you so much that I was suffocated every second I was not with you. But those days were over. We bade our goodbyes, yet you never took it well. I get that you hate me,” Gregory smiled sadly to himself. “And I am terribly sorry that we had to end things that way. The only thing I wished for was to be able to be with you. But in my life, it was always one thing or the other. If I chose you, that would mean the demise of my family. I would have to give up the only thing my great great grandparents had built from scratch — a family legacy that only had me to preserve. But if I chose that, I would have to lose you. It was a sacrifice I had to make and you were the one that I hurt the most. I am really sorry for what I had done. Hurting you was never, never on the top of my list, Fabian. And I wish nothing but happiness for you.”

With each sentence, the grip Fabian had over Lucius’ hand tightened. To him, the explanation that was also the farewell that Gregory was doing right now was like a dagger being pierced into his heart. Each sentence hurt him more than the one before and if his heart could scream, it would have been deafening from how much pain it was in.

However, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “It is okay, Greg. I get it. We were never meant for each other anyway.”

Gregory nodded at the response. He then turned his head toward Lucius who had been listening all along. His gaze softened as he said, “Please take care of him, Cy. He means a lot to me.”

“I will. Without needing you to tell me, I will take a good care of him,” Lucius answered. There was no hint of doubt in his voice as it was clear as day.

“Greg,” Fabian called. And the one whose name was mentioned stared at him. “I have one question before we part ways for real.”

“Shoot it,” Gregory casually responded.

There was an eerie silent between them. The only noises were crickets and other insects around them. The atmosphere had become chiller than it already was. However, the temperature was still less unforgiving compared to Fabian’s question.

“Jillian. Do you love her?”

If this were a dramatic 80s movie, there would suddenly be thunderstorms rumbling from the sky. It was a question Gregory managed to avoid for long. But tonight, he could no longer escape it.

So, he told the truth, “I fell in love with her when we went to Milan in January. When I pledged my oath today at the altar, I meant everything. I want to cherish her the way she deserves to be. So, I hope you can move on as well.”

It took every fiber of Fabian’s being not to crack right there. He was already on the verge of trembling when he could feel the gentle touch of Lucius rubbing his thumb over his skin. The gesture, strangely enough, managed to soothe him and made him feel safe. So, he took a deep breath and forced a small smile.

“I am happy for you. Back to being best friends, then?” Fabian said in between his cracked voice and forced chuckle.

Gregory nodded, “Back to being best friends it is.”

What Gregory did not know was it took three big cups of Baskin’ Robbins to make Fabian stop crying the next day that Lucius had to hold him the entire night without sleeping a blink. In his arms was the crying Fabian whose hands were tightly clutching onto his t-shirt and whose tears stained the same fabric he almost ruined. And it was with patience and love that Lucius tried to gently caress the smaller guy’s back until he was tired and was asleep.

However, Lucius could not help but think — was everything that he was going through worth it?